“The truth will set you free”
or so they say…
But some times I feel this not to be true.
Maybe it isn’t really “Truth” that seems to be agitating me lately, but the realization of things. I guess that kind of sounds like the same thing, but trust me… It’s not.
What a crappy way to start a blog!
I already sound like this is going to be some trash disposal of teenage angst.
But I promise, that is not what this is.
It just so happens that I started this blog in the midst of a very huge life struggle. If thats what you want to call it.
My mother is dying of cancer. As of yesterday, the doctors say we have less than a year.
Take that as you wish. Although I do not expect (and don’t exactly appreciate) the sympathy, because it seems to be humanities natural response to not having anything worthy of saying. But like my mom says “they’re just trying to help”.
I guess.
So, I started this thing, partially because my aunt sent it to me as a way to post my photography and other art, and partially because I was previously thinking about starting something like this.
Apparently it’s “Healthy”. Or so I hear.
Maybe I am as cynical as they say… Or maybe I’ve just become desensitized.
If thats even how you spell desensitized.
And is there even a difference between the two? Or is it just how we perceive it?
My vote is perception.
Sometimes I think my speech sounds pretty disorganized and obnoxious when I write in these things. Kind of like the beginning of a “Sarah Silverman” program. Which, quite frankly, if anyone who reads this has watched.. you’ll know what I mean.
I think it makes me sound pretty uneducated. Like I’m some kid rambling on and on about things that don’t really matter, but just pop into my head. But according to US standardized tests I am one smart cookie. Or so I’m told.
I like cookies. And thats about the extent of my feelings towards the validity of the US and its standardized tests.
But besides that, I guess it’s been a particularly bland day.
Got to sleep in..
Woke up and took a shower..
Cried to my mom via the telephone… like I do almost every morning. (I feel it is becoming ritualistic)… *oh no*
Read some emo Poetry (That I need to upload on here… hmmm… darn, I forgot to do that today…)
Then ate dinner with the fam, and studied for like six hours…
Which consisted of cramming all the information for an art final and a government test. Which happens to be quite a lot if you understand my capacity for learning government.
Uhmmmm… This is something I found very interesting/slightly humorous.
I was in the walmart parking lot today. Minding my own business, watching all these people lug crap to their cars, right? And this guy, who happens to walk right in front of my car, has bought two items.
One being a particularly large watermelon…
The other, being a toothbrush.
I am still not sure as to why this entertained me so much, but I did receive a tiny bit of enjoyment out of it. Maybe I should tell this story elsewhere and get some opinions. Hopefully I’m not the only person who finds this funny, or maybe I’m just falling slightly over the edge of “deranged”.
Some things I have realized about myself today:
I think I have joined the rest of the female population in the urge to eat food when we’re upset. ew.
I really want a pet goldfish named Tapanga.
My bellybutton ring looks odd when its turned upside down.
I have some giant gaping fear of dying some horrible death, such as being squished by a steam roller… from the feet to the head. This happens to be one of my favorite scenarios I’ve come up with, which I discussed in Literature today… grossing out the strange Christian lady. yes.. I said “the strange Christian lady”…
And I meant it.
But besides all that…
All that…
I think that is it for today…
We had a recap of the day, an interesting discovery, and some not so interesting facts about myself…
Hopefully I come up with some better ones tomorrow.
Until then,
Suteki da ne!
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