16]
I’m not really even going to talk about that right now.
I wish I would throw up, that way I’d at least feel a little better.
I don’t know why I keep asking “why did you do it?”
Because there isn’t even a good excuse…
So there will never be a good reason.
—-
So I pretty much miss Thomas.
Yah. Pretty much, sorta, kinda, really, very muchly, absolutely, terribly, actually, somewhat, super-duperly miss him.
yah.
We’re getting married when I get home.
seriously.
You don’t beleive me?
Then you’re aware of federal laws.
Good for you.
List of things I really want to see:
-The Strangers
-The marvelous misadventures of flapjack (It premeres on my Bday!!!)
-Kung Fu Panda
Yeah… That’s just a few for now. I’ll probably add later.
21 days till my Birthday! Good ole 19. It really doesn’t get you anywhere…. So I suppose it doesn’t really matter.
Mom brought up Don the other day. Which is actually pretty cool. Maybe she knows me better than I think… hah. But seriously. It would be awesome to go see him some time… Just to see how he is. I wonder a lot. The only problem with that is that I would hate to meet him, and realize that I wasn’t as important to him as he was to me. But I guess he probably thinks the same thing.
My kstate visit went pretty well. Got a nice tour, met my advisor and stuff. So I feel a little less lost, but I’m kind of having some anxiety over my major. I have a severe case of the “what-ifs”. I’m just afraid my art wont be good enough, or I’ll suck at my major. And I don’t want to waste a semester changing my major. Bleh! I don’t even really want to think about it. I just want next year to start so I can just start getting used to it. I’m just freaking out about all sorts of stuff… Classes, dorms, dorm mate, seeing thomas, getting a job… Bleh!! Not going to think about it. hah
Thomas had a bad dream last night… he said that I went off to college and forgot about him because I had found someone else. I feel really bad that he had such a horrible dream.. because I’ve had them before too. But to be honest, I’m very confident in my comfort with him… And I’m not even concerned about being away from him because I know we’ll see each other frequently. I don’t know… I just don’t really worry about it… and that’s nice :).
I’ve been spending a nice week with my family. I’ve watched a ton of tv with Martin, had a great trip to manhattan with mom, Lots of time hanging out with everyone. I’ve given lots and lots of cuddles to my little brother too. I took a bunch of pictures of us too.. I don’t think I have enough of those :(.
Only two more days left with them. I leave on Saterday early in the morning. Hopefully dad decides to call me so I actually have something to wear to bethanies graduation. hmmm…
I had an amazing talk with Lucas… Although I think I might annoy him a little bit. He talks sense into me, but I still get upset about things that I shouldn’t even care about. It’s probably hard for him to watch someone he cares about get hurt all the time.
Well I beleive that’s all i have to say for now…
Until I decide to talk about it,
Suteki da ne?
-no, its not.
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